It's all my damned Hikari's Fault
by Kaira-chan
Summary: The Yami's go out drinking. Then they realize the reason there such losers is because of there Hikaris.
1. Prelude

Kaira-chan: Hello, and welcome to, 'It's All My Damned Hikari's Fault."  
  
Yami Kaira: It is...  
  
Kaira-chan: What?? What's my fault?  
  
Yami Kaira: That I have to sit here bored out of my skull.   
  
Kaira-chan: JUST BE GLAD I LET YOU BE A MUSE!!  
  
Yami Kaira: O_O wow, are you ever....bitchy today...  
  
Kaira-chan: Just doin' my job.   
  
Yami Kaira: Which would be....?  
  
Kaira-chan: Um...getting on peoples nerves?  
  
Yami Kaira: In that case your damned good at your job...  
  
Kaira-chan: *Hits her upside the head* Neways, I got inspiration for this story when talking to by friend Ishtar-chan. We were arguing who was better, Yami or Marik, and she said Yami is a little pussy, and I said Marik was a loser who lost to a little pussy, and then we deducted that the reason the Yami's are all losers are because of there Hikari's. Sorry of the chapters are a little really short and if everyone's out of character. Also, I don't really know what genre this is. Can someone tell me? Sometimes its comedy, but other times it ain't, and I don't want to put it as comedy because of those parts O_o.  
  
Yami Kaira: It was suppose to be comedy, but apparently, Little Miss Can't-write-a-decent-fic-to-save-her-life-here can only write comedy when its for school and not suppose to be comedy...  
  
Kaira-chan: Shut up. Oh yeah, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. But I do own this fic.  
  
Yami Kaira: Why? 'CAUSE WE SAID SO!!  
  
Kaira-chan: And I wrote it.....  
  
Yami Kaira: Yeah...that too...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"C'mon Pharaoh! Have a drink!" Bakura yelled out.   
  
"I don't think I will..." The Pharaoh said quietly.   
  
"C'mon buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudddy! You used to be the biggest drunk outta all of ush!" Marik grinned, pushing a beer towards Yami.   
  
"Really. I don't think I should," Yami said, regarding the beer cautiously, like it might force itself down his throat any moment.   
  
"Loosen up! You weren't so goody before that Yugi kid showed up."  
  
"Well, maybe just one..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kaira-chan: I know. Short. My muse is longer then that.   
  
Yami Kaira: Hell, your disclaimer is longer then that.   
  
Kaira-chan: No not really........  
  
Yami Kaira: Shut up.....  
  
Both: Please Review. Not like there's much to review on... 


	2. Chappy1

Kaira-chan: Hylo, and welcome to Chappy 1 of 'It's All My Damned Hikari's Fault'  
  
Yami Kaira *Whinning*: Why don't I ever get to start the muse?  
  
Kaira-chan: Fine, you can start it next chappy.   
  
Yami Kaira: Yay!! Kaira-chan don't own nothing. Well she does. But she don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!  
  
Kaira-chan: Wow! Semi-short muse for once!! Oh yeah, some of the stuff, you may have to sound out what they're saying, because...there a little drunk.   
  
Yami Kaira: And most of what Yami's talking at the beginning takes place in the manga so...yeah.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"And then, the diesh broke, and he rolled a sheven and now all he she's is shenshored!" Yami exclaimed loudly. All three Yami's burst out laughing.  
  
"Tell ush the one about the scorpion guy!" Marik said loudly.   
  
"He stabbed the shoe, mished the scorpeen, got his hand caught and was stung!" They began laughing again.   
  
Needless to say, they were drunk. Very, very drunk.   
  
"I love you guys!" Bakura yelled, throwing his arms around there shoulders.   
  
"Yami, what happened to you? What happened to the Pharaoh we all knew and loved. The one who drove people insane and killed people who pissed him off," Marik asked giddily.   
  
"Yugi dun wan me to do thatch no more," The Pharaoh growled.   
  
"Yeah! 'Member when I duel you, and Ryou turned on me. Thatch the only reason I losh to ya," Bakura growled.   
  
"Mine mad me looooose ta ya toe," Marik growled.   
  
"It's all our damned hikari's fault!" They exclaimed in unison.   
  
~~~~~  
  
Kaira-chan: Yep, that was pretty short...  
  
Yami Kaira: Yep  
  
Kaira-chan: Yep  
  
Yami Kaira: Yep *Does the King of the Hill thing for a while*  
  
Kaira-chan: ...I'll try to make the next ones longer. It seems to me, that my chapters get longer the more there are O_o. So um yeah. Review plz. 


	3. Chappy 2

Kaira-chan: And here it is, chapter 2, the chapter that's slightly longer then the others ^-^. Yami Kaira: Ain't saying a helluve a lot. Kaira-Chan: Shut up. Maybe I should start putting warnings up? Yami Kaira: That might be a good idea.. Chibi Kaira-Chan: Um. 'Ami a 'Ugi fight? Oh, and there's a gun ^___^ Me do good Kywa-chan? Kaira-Chan: You did good ^-^ *Huggles* Chibi Kaira-Chan: *Huggles back* Yami Kaira: *Gags* Pharaoh Yami: How come my muse part isn't that big? Kaira-chan: Oh yeah!!! VERY IMPORTANT!!! I know not all of you have Shonen Jump, so you probably don't know, but the first YGO Graphic Novel comes out on June 16!!! I hope you ALL buy it, so you know what exactly Yami was talking about in the last chapter, and because it's just gooood readin'. I know I'm gonna get it, even though I already own all the Shonen Jump. I'm getting the July issue tomorrow too ^____^ yay!! Yami and Shadi challenge eachother again!! (Its not like I ruined it, it says it at the back of the June issue of Shonen Jump) Pharaoh Yami: Kaira-Chan DOES (not) own Yu-Gi-Oh. So there =P ((REVIEW REPLY'S AT BOTTOM)) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``  
  
Yami staggered through the door. Yugi looked up. "Yami! I asked you to be home at 10:00. It's 1:00 now," Yugi said, standing up.  
"Screw off Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuugi. Quit being such a woman," Yami growled playfully.  
"You've been drinking! I clear told you not to drink!" Yugi yelled.  
"I wasn't drunking," Yami said, running into the phone table.  
"Right Yami. I can smell it all over you! You deliberately disobeyed me!" Yugi yelled.  
Yami backhanded him. "Since when does the Pharaoh obey the will of a commoner?" He growled.  
"You tell 'em Pharaoh!" Bakura exclaimed from the window.  
"Shh! Be quiet moron!" Marik said, hitting him over the back of his head.  
"Ouchies!" Bakura said, rubbing his head. "Bakura! Marik! You put him up to this, didn't you?" Yugi yelled, rubbing his cheek where Yami hit him.  
  
"Mmmmmmmmaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyybbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eee" They smiled.  
"Marik and Baka ((Idiot/Moron/fool)) and I are goin' out Yug'. Buh bye," Yami said, grabbing a shot gun that was conveniently propped against the door.  
"I feel like I should be insulated but I don't know why," Bakura said, thinking hard.  
"Yami! Don't!" Yugi said, jumping for the gun.  
They tug-of-warred over it a while when suddenly, BANG!!  
Yugi fell over, clutching his shoulder.  
"Yami!" He cried.  
"Oppsies! You're right, I don't need the gun," Yami said, slightly ashamed.  
Yugi smiled, as much as he could considering the excruciating pain going through his shoulder.  
"I have magic!!!!" Yami smiled widely.  
He dropped the gun. BANG!! A hole appeared in Yugi's hair.  
"Yami!" Yugi cried as his dark walked out the door. "At least call an ambulance!"  
  
Kaira-Chan: See, slightly longer ^-^ Yami Kaira: It's still not even a page long.even with the before and after convo's between Pharaoh Yami Chibi Kaira-Chan and us. Pharaoh Yami: My loyal servents, I assure you, the next chapter is at least 7 times longer ^-^ Chibi Kaira-Chan: *Looks around* Loya' sevents? Wea? Yami Kaira and Kaira-Chan: HERE *Bows to Pharaoh Yami* We'll serve you forever! Pharaoh Yami: *High and mighty* Chibi Kaira-chan: The owlts awe acting wired, O_o Hewe are the weview weplys.pwease weview!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` Shadow Lynx: Yay ^-^ I'm glad you also blame the Hikari's ^___^ lol Pharaoh Yami: I used to be cool before Yugi came along T-T Kaira-chan: You're still cool *Huggles* Yami Kaira: I used to be like Marik, a big murderer and such, before Kaira-chan came along.wait.why should I change??? Kaira-chan, Chibi Kaira-chan and Pharaoh Yami: O_o  
  
Karenu-anime: Sooo.do you like it?  
  
Karenu-anime: Lol, guess that answers my question. Nope, it ain't over yet.  
  
AutumnBreeze: I'm glad you also think it's funny ^-^. And I assure you, I will write more not-so-short chapters ^__^  
  
Bakura Ishtar: Yay! You think it's funny too ^___^  
  
S. A: Lol, yep, only my Yami. *Huggles Pharaoh Yami* Pharaoh Yami: Whadda I do??  
  
Purplechaos04: Yay!! Another Shonen Jump reader!!! *Huggles* I'm missing #4 tho, the March addition. They took it off the shelves to soon T-T I read it tho, 'cause my friend has it. 


	4. Chappy 3

Kaira-chan: 'Lo 'lo ^-^  
  
Kyla: *Coping Kaira-chan: 'Lo 'lo ^-^  
  
Yami Kaira: *Hits Kyla over the head - hard* That is really getting annoying. Why can't you ever be like me?  
  
Kyla: Because I don't wanna be a meany bitch *Pulls down bottom eyelid and sticks out tongue*  
  
Pharaoh Yami, Yami Kaira (Hell, let's just call her Kurai, shall we?) And Kaira-chan: O_O  
  
Pharaoh Yami: Are you sure that a five year old should know words like that?  
  
Kaira-chan: No O_o  
  
Yami Kaira: *Huffs* bad influence...  
  
Kyla: *No idea what she just said* Kaira-chan no own Yu-Gi-Oh.  
  
Pharaoh Yami: OK, here are the WARNINGS!! Lots of killing. Very drunkenness... O_o wow, that's a word (Spell checker didn't catch it), um talk of drugs...and Yami...me...me in the future almost takes advantage of...some nameless person -.-; And swearing, but what else do you expect from Ancient Egyptian Drunk Murderous Shadow Lords?  
  
Yami Kaira: Oh yeah, Everclear is a very powerful alcoholic drink. 5 oz. Of it will kill someone. Just thought you should know ^-^.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Pharaoh!" Marik and Bakura exclaimed, as they glomped Yami.   
  
"GAH!" Yami cried as he fell over.   
  
"Congratulations. You're now a man!!...again!" Marik grinned.   
  
"Congratulations are in order! Let's go drinking!" Bakura giggled, then hiccuped.   
  
"And then let's go kill people!" Marik grinned.   
  
"And steal a car!" Bakura agreed.   
  
"Then take over the world!" Yami joined.   
  
"And then torture our hikari's!" Bakura  
  
"And then kill more people!" Marik  
  
"Then go to an All You Can Eat Buffet!" Yami.   
  
The other two stared at him.   
  
"What? We're bound to get hungry," Yami said, like it was ever so obvious.   
  
"That's why you're the Pharaoh!" They exclaimed, lifting him onto their shoulders.   
  
"Let's get high!" Yami grinned, his ego raising.   
  
Bakura and Marik dropped him.   
  
"No Yami! Bad Boy!" Bakura lectured.   
  
"Drugs are wrong!" Marik continued.   
  
Yami stared at them blankly. "And killing random people isn't?" Yami asked.   
  
"That's a pastime. So is stealing. Drugs are just plain evil," Bakura's eyes narrowed.   
  
"And you're not?" Yami asked flatly.   
  
"We're misunderstood. That's all," Marik said, looking hurt.   
  
Yami looked at them.   
  
"Naw, we're just joking! Let's go get high and drunk!" Marik chuckled.   
  
"Dude. You should've seen your face," Bakura grinned as they walked into a bar.   
  
"Nine shot's of Everclear, please," Yami ordered.   
  
Bakura and Marik looked at each other. 'Please'? They had a long way to go before Yami was fully one of them. Then they could all go back to hating each other.   
  
"Uh, sir? That will kill you," The waiter said.   
  
"I said give me nine damned shots of Everclear! No wait, 32. What comes after 11?"  
  
"Sir, that's 12. And we're not permitted to give you that much alcohol." The waiter said.   
  
Yami narrowed his eyes. "MIND CRUSH!" Yami bellowed. The waiter dropped dead.   
  
"Anyone else dare defie me?" Yami hissed, looking around. Everyone shook their heads.  
  
"Now, get us 12 shots of Everclear! And you there. Move this body from my holy feet," He said, pointing at a young female waitress.   
  
She complied.   
  
"Wow Pharaoh. I didn't know you still had it in you," Bakura said, his face filled with admiration.   
  
"I could've done better," Marik pouted.   
  
"Yeah? Let's see," Yami glowered.   
  
"OK then," He pulled out his Millennium Rod, and pointed it at some random guy.  
  
"You! Go kill those two people, then come here." The big guy complied, killing a young couple, then walking to Marik.   
  
Marik unsheathed his dagger, and then stabbed the guy.  
  
"That ain't so good," Bakura said, then summoned the Man-Eater Bug, and it, non the less, ate someone.  
  
They spent the next few minutes showing off there killing skills, until their shots arrived. By then, them and the waitress were the only ones in the entire bar still alive.  
  
She set down the shots, then looked around the bar fearfully. She started to run towards the counter, where the phone was.   
  
Yami grabbed the back of her shirt, and pulled her onto his lap. He looked at her. Then he took a shot. Then he looked at her again. Then he took another shot. Then looked at her again. "Dammit! It's no use. You're too damned ugly," Yami said, throwing her off his lap.   
  
Bakura and Marik laughed. "I thought barmaids were suppose to be hot," Yami mumbled, drinking his second last shot (They each got four), as Bakura and Marik choked down their first one.   
  
"Should I kill her?" The Pharaoh asked.   
  
"No, who will serve up shots?" Bakura said, looking at his half drank first shot. How could the Pharaoh down such strong alcohol like it was juice?  
  
"But I wanna kill her," Yami whined.   
  
"Too bad, I wanna kill her," Marik said.   
  
"Who will serve us shots?"   
  
"But I said it first."  
  
"But I called it."  
  
"What about our shots?"  
  
"You did not!"  
  
"I call killing the Barmaid!"  
  
"Damn you Marik,"  
  
"What about the shots?!"  
  
"Bakura's right. We shouldn't kill her until we're nice and drunk ((Like they aren't already -.-;))."  
  
"You're just mad because I called it," Marik pouted.   
  
Bakura finished his first shot with Marik, then Yami finished his last one.   
  
"Guys, can I have one of your shots? I finished mine..." Yami whined.   
  
"Order another one, Baka," Marik said, wrapping a protective arm around his three remaining shot glasses.   
  
"HEY!! YOU CALLED ME A BAKA!" Bakura stood up, glaring at Yami ((See Ch. 2)).  
  
Yami and Marik burst out laughing.   
  
"Fuck you're slow!" Marik chuckled.   
  
Bakura glowered, then tackled Yami. The table fell on top of them, the shot glasses shattering around them.  
  
Marik jumped back, hoping to avoid the fray. Not that he didn't like fighting. He just didn't want to stain his new shirt with Yami's blood. Mmmm...blood. He ended up tripping over one of the woman whom Yami had killed.   
  
Suddenly sirens were heard.   
  
Yami and Bakura stopped fighting, in time to see a SWAT team run into the bar.   
  
The barmaid ran into the arms of one of them.   
  
"Glad you called us Miss. It seems we made it just in time," He said, his eyes narrowing at the three Shadow Lords.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kaira-chan: See, much longer.  
  
Pharaoh Yami: Almost three pages of me being drunk -.-; Erm, I mean Yami, no, um, the future me?  
  
Kurai: Neways, please read and review, and we'll get back to you.  
  
Kyla: WEVIEW WEPLIES!!!  
  
AutumBreeze: Yay ^-^ I made someone laugh, I'm so proud.   
  
Kurai: You make me laugh every time I look in the mirror -.-;  
  
Kaira-chan: My I suggest **Not** giving the characters in the fic whatever they want...tho I will take all this anime/manga crap.   
  
Yami, Marik and Bakura: *Walk it* Whatever we want? Excellent *Go all Mr. Burns like*  
  
Kurai and Kaira-chan: O_O *Knock them out*  
  
Kaira-chan: Though...I do think that I'll let you give Yugi those painkillers he's been crying for for the past five days...  
  
Yugi: Thank....you *Eats painkillers*  
  
S.A: I'll be sure to check it out. Thanks ^-^  
  
Not a lot of Reviews huh? I'm hoping this chapter will give me more... 


	5. Chappy 4

Kaira-chan: I'm finally updating.

Yami Kaira: About time

Kaira-chan: I just couldn't get into the mood. 

Yami Kaira: ...And the "1 Year anniversary Special" Manga of Yu-Gi-Oh really got you into the mood... *Sarcastic*

Kaira-chan: Yep ^-^

Yami Kaira: =.=

Kyla: Kywa-chan no own Yu-Gi-Oh

Pharaoh Yami: Warning, there is some...yaoi I guess you would call it. It's the funny stupid kind though. Can it even be considered Yaoi *Turns to Kaira-chan*

Kaira-chan: Who knows, on with the fic!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Officer! I'm so glad you came! This woman killed all these people, and was going to kill us too!" Yami exclaimed, thinking quickly. 

"How are you still alive, let alone contious!" The woman growled. 

"You heard that! That was a threat! Right! You heard it!" Bakura said, going along with Yami's plan. 

Suddenly the woman began to lunge at them. "I'll kill you!" She cried, "I'll bloody kill you!" 

The officers held her back. Bakura and Yami looked at Marik, who had his hand behind his back. They grinned, knowing this was his doing. 

"But, a woman called us," Said one of the officers, holding back the woman. 

Suddenly Yami's eyes went blank. "You see, I'm a cross-dresser, and I can make my voice sound very feminine, and you see officer, I find that cops come faster when they think, it's a damsel in distress," Yami said seductively, moving towards one of the officers. 

Suddenly he got back in control, and whirled around, glaring at Marik. He growled and lunged towards him. 

At the last minute, just as Yami lunged at Marik, Bakura grabbed the rod. The officers all stared, wondering what was the matter, and Bakura knew that if he didn't do something quick, their cover would be blown. He pointed the rod at Marik and Yami, and, instead of attacking Marik, he ended up hugging him. 

Bakura grinned madly, now _he _was in control. Yami and Marik began to passionately make-out as the officers stared in horror.

"You see, their gay together, and their just so thrilled that they were saved, I'm sorry if its disturbing," Explained Bakura, grinning madly. 

"OK, very well. We'll take this girl in to the office. Wait here, we'll come back for questioning," One of the officers said. 

"What? I didn't do anything. You can't do this," The woman screamed, tears running down her face as she was lead out of the bar. 

As the last officer left the building, both Marik and Yami's eyes regained their life, their lips still pressed against eachother, their arms still wrapped tightly around each other. 

They stared at eachother blankly for a minute, then pulled apart quickly, gagging and spitting and holding there throats. Yami clawed at his tongue, as if to get the taste away, and Marik stuck his finger down the back of his throat, to puke out the horrible feeling. 

At the same time they looked up at Bakura. 

"Eh heh, hey guys. It was the weirdest thing," Bakura laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head. 

At the same time, Marik and Yami lunged at Bakura. 

One of the officers walked in at that moment. "Oh yeah, when you get to the station, your going to have to take a Breathalyzer..." He looked at them all. 

Marik and Yami were sitting on Bakura, sort of straddling him. Bakura was laying on his back on the ground. 

Remembering Yami and Marik earlier, the officer blushed madly, mumbled "Sorry for intruding," And backed away. 

Marik, Yami and Bakura all looked at him leave, blankly. Then they looked at eachother, and quickly jumped to their feet. 

"Bakura, give me my rod," Marik said. 

"I - erm...don't have your rod," Said Bakura, hiding the Millennium rod behind his back. 

The officer who had just backed out, put his ear to the door. 

"Bakura, I can see you stroking Marik's rod. Give it back to him so he can put it away," Yami said. 

The officer sweatdropped. 

"I don't have it!" Shouted Bakura. 

"Yes you do! Bakura, don't you dare put it in your pocket, or I'll be forced to reach in there, and pull it out!" Marik said.

The officer listened more. "These guys are...sick," He whispered. 

"Ew! Yami, he licked it!" Marik cried. 

Bakura laughed evilly. "What do you want me to do about it?" Yami cried. 

"Grab it a stroke it clean! That's sick man! Sick!" Marik cried. 

"Fine, Bakura, hand me Marik's rod," Yami commanded. 

"Make me!" Bakura cried. "I want the rod! Get another one!" 

"I can't! That's mine! You know that, it's one of a kind!" Marik. 

"Bakura, don't make me whack you!" Yami. 

"I'd like to see you try!" Bakura. 

"Fine then! I will!" Yami. 

"Don't bother Pharaoh. He'll probably enjoy it. You know how he is." Marik. 

"Bakura! Just give it back to him! Listen to me! I'm your Pharaoh!" Yami. 

"You may be Marik's Pharaoh, but you sure as hell aren't mine. I listen to no man!" Bakura. 

"Hey, George, lets go," Said a cop, from behind the officer who was listening to them, tapping him on the shoulder. 

"Gladly!" Said George, getting up and running to the cop car. 

Yami reached over and plucked the Millennium rod out from Bakura's hands, then stroked off some slobber with his arm. 

"Geez Marik. You're so immature, it was just alittle bit of spit," He said, handing it back to him. He turned to Bakura. "And what kind of 5000 year old thief _licks _the stuff he steals?"

"Hey, how do you think the stuff I stole was never taken back?" Bakura shot back. 

Yami sweatdropped. "Lets go out and steal a car and some weed guys."

"Ok!" Bakura and Marik said in unison. And together, the three skipped out of the bar, and into the street. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaira-chan: OK, OK, I know the chapter was horrible, it sounded better when I was going over it in my head. 

Yami Kaira: -.-; Pathetic. 

Kaira-chan: Please, no flames, because I know it sucks enough without someone telling me.

Yami Kaira: Haha!

Kaira-chan: But PLEASE, constructive critisim, so I can figure out where I went wrong. 

Yami Kaira: And give her ideas, because she's fresh out. 

Pharaoh Yami: ....um...I have nothing to say, except please review. 

  


~~~~~~~~~~REVIEW REPLIES~~~~~~~~~~~~~

S.A Bonasi:

Lol, sounds like my life =P I'm glad you like it tho ^-^

  


I could have sworn there was another review from AutumBreeze, where she gave the guys foam mallets, but oh well, its not under my reviews, and I have too many e-mails to look through my E-mail so oh well, thank you for reviewing if you did ^-^ I'll be sure to use the foam mallets. 

  
  
  
  



	6. Important Notice, please read

IMPORTANT:

From July 3, to July 17, I'm going out of town, to my aunts. I probably won't have access to a computer, so, between that time, none of my fanfics will be updated, ok? But, that doesn't mean you can't review them, and tell me how to make them better, what you like about them, and what you hate about them. Please, no flames, just CONSTRUCTIVE critisim, because we all know I desperately need it lol ^-^. Thank you for taking time out of your precious day to read my fics, and this notice. 

Ja Ne, 

Kaira-chan


	7. Chappy 5 About time, sorry people

This will probably be my last update before I go on vacation. 

Yami Kaira: Here is where you all cheer.

Kaira-chan: Yesh, cheer because I'm doing this for you all ^-^

Yami Kaira: ...That's one thing they can cheer about...

Kaira-chan: ...whadda ya mean?

Yami Kaira: See, I'd personally cheer because they wouldn't have to put up with your crap for 2 weeks...

Kaira-chan: You're so cruel T-T

Pharaoh Yami: I'm cheering because you can't torture me for two week. 

Kaira-chan: T-T You're both so mean!

Kyla: Well...if it make you feew any betta, me cheering because you are so nice to give us this one last chapter...

Kaira-chan: THANK YOU!! *Glomps*

Kyla: ^-^ Kywa-chan no own Yu-Gi-Oh ^-^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yami walked up to the other two Yami's. "Hey guys, look what I got!" He said enthusiastically. 

They looked at him. "What are those?" Bakura asked, rubbing a bruise on his cheek. 

Yami looked at them. "I think their foam mallets..." He said. Sure enough, in his hand he held 3 foam mallets. 

"What the hell are we suppose to do with theses?" Marik growled, as he and Bakura each snatched a foam mallet from Yami's grasp. 

"I don't know. Some girl just ran up to me and gave them to me," Yami said, whacking Marik over the head with his. 

Marik growled. He whacked Yami back. Then In turn, Yami whacked Bakura, Bakura whacked Marik, Marik whacked Yami, and it was a never ending cycle. 

Well, it did end. After about an hour. 

"Hey! These things rock! Let's go paint the down red...like blood!" Bakura exclaimed. 

"Red? Why the hell would we paint the town red? Black is a much better color," Marik sneered, whacking Bakura over the head. Bakura whacked him back. 

"I personally would think blue would be a good color. A nice, dark, navy blue," Yami said. Bakura and Marik looked at him, and at the same time hit him over the head with their mallets. 

They argued for another 15 minutes, when suddenly Marik said, "Gentelmen, gentlemen." Bakura and Yami looked at him, both thinking the same thing. _Since when are we gentle. _

"Why must we fight?" He continued. 

"Because Kazuki Takahashi makes us?" Yami said stupidly. Marik politly ignored him. 

"Aren't we not men, who fight for the same cause?" Both Bakura and Yami shook their head. "Why must men fight? Are we not, social creatures. We enjoy the company of other men."

"Actually, I don't. I'm just hanging out with you two because Yami here's buying the drinks," Bakura blurted. One again Marik ignored him.

"For, from blood comes only more blood," Bakura licked his lips hungrily. "And from hate births more hate. Let us not hate," Said Marik. 

"What the hell is he saying?" Yami whispered loudly to Bakura. Bakura giggled. 

"WHAT I'M SAYING IS WE CAN PAINT THE TOWN RED WHITE AND BLUE!!! I mean....red, black and blue," Marik screamed. "NOW SHUT THE HELL UP AND STEAL SOME SPRAY PAINT!!!" 

Yami and Bakura nodded, and they broke into a paint store which was conveninetly right beside them. 

Yami grabed 10 bottles of Navy blue paint, and some Baby blue paint because they ran out of Navy Blue Paint. Bakura grabbed many bottles of crimson paint, and stuffed them wherever he could, and Marik grabbed 5 bottles of Jumbo Black paint.

Then they ran out of the store, and saw Ryou driving his new convertable down the deserted street. 

Suddenly Ryou pulled to a stop. "Yami? What are you doing down here? I've been looking all over for you," he said. 

Yami blinked. "Why were you looking for me?"

Bakura hit him over the back of the head with his foam mallet. "He was talking to me nimrod," He growled. Then he turned to Ryou. "I'm just hanging out with my friends..." He said, innocently. 

Ryou stared at him. "Since when are Yami Yugi and Yami Malik your friends?"

Bakura stared at him. "SINCE NOW!!" He took out a bottle of spray paint, and pressed the button. Unfortunatly, it was facing the wrong way, and sprayed himself in the face, instead of Ryou. 

Ryou looked at him. Bakura rubbed the paint from his eyes. "Just stay there for a minute, OK hikari?" He said, rubbing ferociously at his eyes. 

"Ok!" Ryou said happily. Yami and Marik stared at him blankly. 

"Is it just me, or is Ryou kinda stupid for a hikari?" Asked Yami. 

"I don't know. Yugi did play tug-of-war with you with a rifle," Anwsered Marik. 

Bakura studied the spray can alittle, then laughed triumphantly. 

"Like I was saying, SINCE NOW!" He shouted, spraying Ryou in the face with the red spray paint. 

"Ah!" Ryou cried out, holding his eyes. Bakura and Marik threw him out of the car, and Yami hopped in the drivers seat.

Yami turned the keys, and revved the car loudly.

"See you in hell, sucker!" Bakura screamed, as Yami took his foot off the break. The car shot forward. 

Marik took out a sheet of paper, and made two check marks. 

"What's that Marik," Bakura said, looking over Marik's shoulder. Marik was sitting in the frount passanger seat, while Bakura was in the back. 

"It's a Too Do List," Answered Marik. He showed Bakura the Check list. 

MARIK'S TO DO LIST

Go out drinking (Check)

Get the Pharaoh Drunk (Check)

Get revenge on the Pharaoh 

Get Drunk as celebration

Get Drunk for the Helluve it (Check)

Make the Pharaoh a killer again (Check)

Kill random people (Check)

Steal a Car (Check)

Torture our Hikari's (Half check)

Kill More Random People

Go to an all you can eat buffet

Go Get High

  


Bakura blinked. "Next on the list is kill more random people. Think you can get us there Yami?" He shouted over the wind going through his hair. 

"Can do! It's Canada Day today! Their's bound to be lots of people at the fire works!" He called back. 

"Um...Pharaoh. How do you know how to drive?" Marik asked suddenly. 

"Why do you ask?" Yami replied. 

"Well, I'm sure that there weren't any cars back in Ancient Egypt, and I'm sure as hell Yugi never let you get a licence," Marik anwsered. 

"Hmm, good point. I guess getting drunk _improves _your driving skills," Yami anwsered joyfully. "Look at mah Mad Skillz!!!" Yami cried. He stepped on the gas, and put the car in cruise control, the he jumped up in his seat. "Look Ma! No hands!" He cried out gleefully. 

Unfortuanatly, it was a convertable. The wind swept him off his feet. And he went flying out the back of the convertable. 

Bakura and Marik whipped around to watch him hit the ground hard. Marik jumped into the next seat and slammed on the breaks, just as they were about to go over a bridge. Both of them stared at the still form of the Pharaoh. 

"Um...do you think he's OK?" Marik asked. 

"Who cares? That kicked ass! And it was funny as hell!" Bakura exclaimed, still looking at the Pharaoh.

The both watched on, as Yami didn't move from the middle of the highway. 

A semi ran over him, and they waited to see what was gonna happen to their new friend...at least until the affects of the alcohol wore off.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haha, cliffy . Don't you love it when I do that? And now you have to wait 2 weeks to find out what happens!!

Pharaoh Yami: O_o Ouch...that had to hurt...

Yami Kaira: Yami is so stupid when he's drunk...and so easy to take advantage of too *Grins mischievously*

Kaira-chan: O_o

Kyla: Pwease Weed...

Pharaoh Yami: *Hits her over the back of the head* Please read and review!

  


~~~~~~~~~REVIEW REPLIES~~~~~~~~~


	8. Important Notice!

~~~NOT A CHAPTER OR ANYTHING, THIS IS AN IMPORTANT NOTICE!~~~  
  
Okay, just so you peoples know, this is NOT Kaira-chan, this is Jeshi-chan. I am on Kaira-chan's account and am putting up these notices to say that..  
  
KAIRA-CHAN IS GROUNDED FOR 2 WEEKS, SO SHE WON'T BE ABLE TO UPDATE ANY STORIES OR READ YOUR REVIEWS OR WHATEVER THE HELL ELSE SHE DOES THAT I DON'T...lol  
  
Oh, she also wanted me to say something about her "bastard parents" as she calls them...so uh...let's see..  
  
Okay, so you see, unlike Kaira-chan, I love my parents...actually, I love my mum...I hate my dad's guts, and I'd wish he'd die..but to say something about Kaira-chan's parents...um...let's see...  
  
THEY'RE JUST BEING BIG BIG BIG MEANIES!!  
  
Actually, she was grounded for swearing at her dad...I wouldn't be grounded for swearing at MY dad, my mum would probably give me $5 for it. She'd think it's hilarious...  
  
BUT NOT KAIRA-CHAN'S PARENTS!! They grounded her, so on her behalf, I'll just say, "YOU BIG BIG MEANIES!! 2 WEEKS IS THE WORST GROUNDING TIME EVER!!!"  
  
Thank you people, and Kaira-chan will be back in 2 weeks...hopefully less...^_^  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	9. Chapter 6, The Plane Ride

Kaira-chan: And here's the next chapter ^_^

Yami Kaira: Make them wait for so long =.=

Kaira-chan: Sorry ^-^;; Heheh, neways, I hope I didn't make you all wait too long. I was grounded, then I had writers block, plus I have too many stories, and my account was frozen..

Yami: Psht. Stupid Kaira. 

Kaira-chan: Yes, stupid me...

Pharaoh Yami: Kaira-chan doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh, nor does she own Air Canada, the plane place that they flew with in this chapter ^-^. 

Kaira-chan: Oh yeah. There's a fanfiction contest (Or two). The url('s) are in my bio. Please don't enter if you a better author then me...that's pretty much everyone. Lol, naw, I'm j/p.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bakura and Marik stared at the semi kept rolling, not even noticing the unconscious spirit laying on the ground. 

"...Do you think we should go see if he's OK? Or... like... alive?" Marik asked Bakura. 

"I suppose it would be the right thing to do," Bakura sighed, and both he and Marik began to stand up, but Yami beat them to it. 

"I'm ok!" He yelled out, standing perfectly straight and raising his arms above his head in victory signs. 

Neither Bakura nor Marik decided to warn him against the Semi that was speeding towards him, and twisted smiles crossed their faces as he was hit once again. The semi driver didn't even slow. 

Yami rolled up to a stop at the back tire of the car, and Bakura and Marik decided to drag him into the car. 

He woke up. "Huh? What happened?" He asked, looking at them. 

"You got hit by two semi's!" Marik grinned. 

Yami looked at them, then grinned widely. "Ok! I'm driving again then!" He exclaimed. 

Marik and Bakura didn't put up a fuss as Yami crawled back into the drivers seat, and started the car. 

He sped off. "So, where's this Canada day thing?" 

"Canada," Yami replied shortly. 

Bakura blinked. "Yami... We're in Japan..." He said simply. 

Yami stopped the car. "Oh! So _now _you tell me!" Yami yelled. 

Bakura and Malik's eyes widened. "Um... I thought you would've known. I mean, I didn't think anyone was that stupid, even if their drunk," Marik stated. 

"Marik... he just drank like, what, 5 shots of everclear, and a whole shitload of other alcohol, I think he's beyond drunk," Bakura pointed out. 

Marik just nodded. 

"What are you guys talking about?!" Yami yelled, driving the car faster. "I'm not least in the drunk," He grinned stupidly. 

"Yami.... You're heading off a cliff," Bakura said. Sure enough the car was driving ever faster, right to a cliff. 

"What are you talking about? That giant purple elephant will catch us," Yami grinned. 

Bakura and Marik's eyes widened. At the last moment, Marik grabbed the wheel, and spun it sharply, making the car spin to a stop.

Yami pouted. "Now Bingo can't catch us," He whined. 

Marik grabbed Yami and threw him into the back seat, while Bakura climbed up frount into the drivers seat. 

He looked at the ignition. "How about we walk instead?" He smiled sheepishly. 

Marik groaned. "If this was a motorcycle..." He sighed.

Bakura closed his eyes. //Ryou...Ryou... are you there?" He asked through the mindlink. 

/AHHH!!! MY EYES!!! THEY BURN!!!/ Ryou answered. 

Bakura snickered. //I need you to tell me how to work the car Ryou...// He said. 

/MAKE MY EYES STOP BURNING!!! OWWW!!! THE PAIN!!! THE HORROR! THE HOOOOORRR - Oh... Hi Yami./ Ryou said. 

Bakura blinked. //OK..... Please tell me how to work your car.//

/Oh! Just turn the key, and step on the gas, and drive around. You know how to steer right? Just follow the street signs.... and the law/ He added as an after thought... /And you'll do fine./

Bakura turned the key, and the car started. He stepped on the gas, a little to hard, and ran into the side of a cliff. 

He turned the wheel, and got away, scrapping of the complete outer coating of the drivers side of the car. After all, he didn't know how to back up. 

"We'll go to the air port, and hijack a plane, so we can get to Canada, OK?" Bakura asked. Yami and Marik nodded.

By some miracle, Bakura pulled up to the airport. He stopped the car in a no parking zone, and the three of them walked in the airport. 

"Anyone catching flight AC 1209384 to Vancouver B.C Canada, you may now board," The voice came over the intercom. 

"NOOO!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!" Yami screamed in the middle of the airpot, falling to his knees. 

Bakura poked him. "Yami...no ones in your head. I think it was the intercom, whatever that is..." Bakura said, helping Yami up. 

Bakura turned his head slightly, and burst out screaming. He pointed to one of those creepy looking people in those scary outfits. 

Yami and Marik burst out screaming too, and the three of them ran to the gate that they needed to board the plane. The didn't stop at the security thing, all three of them setting of the metal detector. 

Yami with his puzzle, and buckles, and chains. ((All hail his buckles and chains ^___^)) Bakura with his ring, and his dagger. And Marik with his rod, and... I think that's all the metal he has =.=.

They outran the guards, Marik throwing ninja stars at them ((O_o...where did he get those?? ...hey! He _did _have more metal then the rod!! XD)). They ran past the ticket claim booth, and onto the plane, which was just closing the door thingy. 

The looked around, and could see any seats, so while the plane was gathering speed, driving along the runway, the three of them sat in the middle of the aisle. 

The plane took off, and Yami fell back into Bakura, who fell into Marik, who fell...into the floor. 

They all burst out laughing...for no apparent reason, while people on the plane all stared at them. 

A stewardess came up to them. "Excuse me sirs. Can you please return to your spots?" She asked. 

"We are in our spots...toots," Marik said, eyeing her suspiciously. 

"Sirs, may I please ask that..." She stopped, as Bakura, Marik and Yami all bared their teeth and hissed. "Ok, you can stay there," She said, her eyes widening. 

"Good," Yami said, bopping her with the foam mallet he still had strapped to his back.

"Sirs...are you drunk?" A steward asked. 

"What if we are?" Marik growled. 

"You aren't allowed to be drunk on the plane..." The steward said. 

All three of them stared at him blankly. 

"Then why do you have a bar in the airport?" Yami asked. 

"Well, uh..."

"And why do you serve alcohol on the plane?" Bakura asked also. 

"Well, sir..."

"And why does my hair stick up like this?" Marik added. 

"Yeah!" Yami and Bakura chanted. 

The steward gave them all strange looks, and walked away.

All three of them howled with laugher, as he walked away. 

Soon, a little boy came by. "Excuse me misters, I need to take a pee," He said, hopping up and down. 

"Then take one..." Yami said flatly. Why was the little boy telling him this. 

"The bathrooms are behind you, and I can't get through," He said, hopping back and forth. 

"Then piss in your pants," Bakura snapped. 

"Ppppppplllllleeeeeeeaaaaaaaassssssseeeeeeeeeeee let me through?" He whined. 

Yami jolted forwards, and bit the kids neck. "WAHAHAHH!!! I am a vampyre!" He said, happily. 

"AHHHH!!!" The boy screamed, peeing his pants.

Yami pulled away. "There, now you don't need the bathroom," Yami grinned. 

The boy ran away crying, and the guys burst out laughing, again. 

Suddenly a girl ran up to them. "And what do you want?" Bakura growled. 

"Hey! She's the girl who had the foam mallets!" Yami said. He pulled out his foam mallet, and showed it to her. 

She grinned madly, then pulled out three four foot long axes, and three boxes of bricks from her carry on bag. 

"Oh! A four foot long ax!" Yami exclaimed taking one. 

"Oh! A crate of bricks to throw at people!" Bakura exclaimed, grabbing a box of bricks. 

"Oh!!! Someone to kill!" He said drawing his rod and pointing it at the girl. 

"Marik! No! Take one of her gifts," Yami said. Marik grumbled, as he grabbed a four foot long ax. 

The other ax, and two crates of bricks disappeared into her carry on bag. 

Then she pulled out a vile of blood and gave it to Bakura. "Oh! Mine!" Bakura hissed, snatching it out of her hands and clutching it protectively. 

Then she pulled out two fortune cookies and gave it to Marik and Yami. Marik stuffed his in his mouth, chocking on the piece of paper. 

"Stupid paper!" He grumbled, swallowing it anyway. "I wish the person who put that there would drop dead!" He exclaimed. One of the men in front of him suddenly, for no reason at all, died. 

Yami blinked, closed his eyes, and pulled apart the fortune cookie. Suddenly a pizza appeared. "Wow!! It worked!" He exclaimed. 

"Why didn't you wish for world domination?" Bakura asked. Yami blinked.

"DAMMIT!!" He cried out, then he ate his pizza. The girl gave them each a hug, the jumped out of the plane, her parachute opening gracefully. 

"We will be arriving in Canada in 2 minutes. Please buckle your seat belts, and enjoy your flight," The speaker thing said. 

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Kaira-chan: Finally! I'm done ^____^ Sorry again for the long wait. 

Yami Kaira: And thank you Sleeping Koneko (I see you changed your name again) for the gifts. 

Yami: And here come the review replies (We didn't do them last chapter O_o)

Pharaoh Yami: PLEASE READ AND REVIEW...preferably with constructive critisim. 

~~~~~~~~~QUESTIONS~~~~~~~~~

Please please answer this. I need it for a fan fic I'm writing for a contest. Does anyone know where I could find a list of the cards in Jonouchi (Joey's) deck? How about Anzu (Tea)? Perferable with the Japanese card names. It's ok if they don't though. Could you meebe e-mail me them, if you don't have to site?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


~~~~~~~~REVIEW REPLIES~~~~~~~~~

Yami-Yugi3: (To review on ch. 5)

I'm glad you think it's funny ^-^ You should change your name so theirs no little number thingy =P. Neways, I hope you keep reading this. Hope you thought this chapter was funny too u.u.

  


Souldreamer: (To review on ch. 6)

I hope I updated...again, soon enough for you ^-^ I hope you like this chapter too =P

  


Dawn: (To review on ch. 6)

I'm glad you like it. I hope its still creative, and all that other good stuff you said. And I hope you keep reading ^_^

  


Skyetrain: (To review on ch. 5)

I'm glad you like it so much ^-^ Sorry, no car chase u.u Maybe when they make it to Canada? I'm glad I made your day ^____^

  


Misura: (To review on ch. 2)

Lol, yes, they way there were speaking was hard to understand. And to write. That's why I made them speaking normally u.u I'm such a lazy authoress. 

  


Misura: (To review on ch. 3)

Lol, Unpredictability is good. Yes, Yami likes Yugi, but he's a little drunk ^_^;; Heheh. Lol, yes, everything is disturbing that I write. Even if it isn't!! MWAHAHAH!! ...That made no sense at all, did it?

  


Misura: (To review on ch. 4)

Lol, I'm glad you likkle it ^____^

  


Misura: (To review on ch. 5)

Trust me, I didn't enjoy my vacation . Neways, you thought it was funny? Thank you! *Glomps* lol ^_^;;

  


S.A: (To review on ch. 5)

Lol, I'm glad you think so. ^-^ Yes, poor poor police officer ^-^;;; hehehe. 

  


Sleeping Koneko: (To review on ch. 6)

I'm glad you think so ^____^ Heheh ^_^;; Yay! A flameproof fic sticker ^___^ **Keeps it proudly** I used your gifts...again... actually, if you keep giving them, I'll probably keep using them ^_^;;;

  


Knight of Darkness: **To review on ch. 2**

Lol, yes, yes they are, aren't they ^-^ lol ^-^ I'm sure they won't hurt you (Unless by some odd demented reason I start adding reviewers into the story O_o...)

  


Knight of Darkness: **To review on ch. 3**

Lol ^_^ yay! Another manga reader =P

  


Knight of Darkness: **To review on ch. 5**

Yep ^-^ I will. And I'm glad you think so ^_^

  


Violet Wolf: **To review on ch. 5**

Hylo Ishtar-chan ^-^ Howz youz? Lol, yes, you are both sick. Poor Hao. Is he still on vacation? Hehe ^_^;; I'm glad you likkled it. 

  


Minaki01321: 

I'm glad you think so, and I will ^_^ 

  


Violet Wolf:

Hylo Ishtar-chan, again ^_^. Lol, Kyla doesn't like any of my other muses. So I sent her for a time-out for a few chapters ^_^;; ...*wants to know how your writing this review* I won't ask u.u

  


Amy:

S'ok that you have no ideas ^_^;; I'm glad you like it. 

  


Sleeping Koneko:

And once again, I used your gift ideas =P Heheh ^_^;;; I think they all enjoyed the presents. Though I do believe that Marik would rather kill you, but that's just him =P lol. 

  


Yami Bakura's Wife: **To review on ch. 2**\

Lol, of course Bakura will never win against Yami ^_^ Yami does loose against anyone...except for the one guy who stole Yugi from him in eps. 158 ^-^;; Heheh...

  


Yami Bakura's Wife: **To review on ch. 3**

Lol, of course it was funny when Yami shot Yugi ^-^ Heheh ^-^;;;

  


Yami Bakura's Wife: **To review on ch. 4**

Lol, yes, you aren't invited, and you never shall be =P J/p ^_^

  


Yami Bakura's Wife: **To review on ch. 5**

Lol ^-^;; Heheheh... hope you and Bakura worked it out Jeshi-chan.

  


Yami Bakura's Wife: **To review on ch. 7**

Lol, don't you think Bakura's drank enough in this fic =P Lol, neways, I hope you enjoyed it ^___^ See ya later, Jeshi-chan. 

  


BakaNeko-chan:

Sorry for making you wait ^_^;;; I'm glad you like it. 

  


Cheyne H Keresoma:

Lol, if there's something wrong with you, then there's something wrong with everyone else who reviewed this fic ^-^;; I glad you like it. Sorry for making you wait. 


	10. Chapter 7, Attack of the SWAT

Kaira-chan: And now, for another segment of IAMDHF!!

Yami Kaira: Yay... *Half heartily twirls finger*

Yami: Why must you torment me so?

Kaira-chan: Because I love you! *Glomps*

Pharaoh Yami: =.= Could've fooled me...

Kaira-chan; Aww! You two are so silly. 

Yami: Kaira-chan doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh

Pharaoh Yami: Nor does she own the lyrics to "I like traffic lights" by Monty Python. 

Yami: WARNINGS: Much blood...and...um... yeah ^-^ Alittle bit of swearing (As usual).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the plane began to descend, all three of the spirits noticed, for Marik fell on top of Bakura, who fell on top of Yami, who was then face planted into the floor. 

"AHHHHHHH!!!" Yami screamed pushing Bakura and Marik off of him and standing up. "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!"

Bakura and Marik also got up, screaming frantically. The three of them ran in the isle flapping their arms like chickens with their heads cut off, screaming "We're all going to die! We're all going to die!" over and over. 

A child began to cry, and that's when the panic started. People began to undo their seatbelts sloppily.

The stewards and stewardess' tried to calm everyone, but couldn't get to them, due to the three spirits who were still running back and forth. 

The people at the emergency exits were struggling to unlock the doors, but were failing horribly. 

"AHHH!! I CAN'T OPEN IT!!" One of them screamed, causing another bout of screaming. 

Yami jumped over everyone, stepping on the majority of their heads, before landing at the door. He opened it (somehow) and threw it out the plane. 

"...You were suppose to bring it in," The man whose lap he was now sitting on said. Yami shrugged, and looking on in enjoyment as the door hit someone on the ground, blood splattering everywhere. 

"EVERYONE OUT OF THE PLANE!!" He screamed over the other peoples screams, gesturing to the now open door. 

He grabbed onto the chair in front of him, as a tidal wave of people jumped out the door. When the last person was out, the three spirits looked out the door, and smiled deviously at the blood that painted the ground, since not one of the passengers had parachutes, and the plane was still going quite fast. . The three of them walked calmly past the wide-mouthed stewards and stewardesses into first class, and sat down, each in their own seat. 

"Wow," Marik said, looking around. "It really is more roomier up here."

  
  


Of course, when they landed, there was an entire S.W.A.T team waiting for them. The three of them plowed through the S.W.A.T team, like football players, somehow not getting hit with any of the bullets being shot at them. 

Actually, the bullets seemed to hit everyone in the airport _but _the three intended targets. 

"I'd be more worried if they _weren't_ aiming for us," Bakura whispered to his two comrades, both of whom nodded and ran faster. You never know, the S.W.A.T team could figure that out. 

When they got outside, many police cars were waiting. The three of them took off running once more, the cars following them. 

Bakura pulled out a brick, and threw it at the lead cop car. It crashed through the windshield, hitting the cop who was driving in the head. Blood coated the windshield, as the car spun out of control, stopping diagonally in the road. 

All the other cars ran into it, and the cars behind them running into it, none of them having the common sense to stop. 

Yami, Bakura and Marik turned the corner, just as an explosion shattered the near silence. 

The three of them looked to see all the cop cars in a ball of smoke. 

Yami turned to Bakura, and punched him in the face. "You bastard!" He hissed. 

Bakura and Marik looked at him. "_I'm _the one who causes all the explosions!" Yami whined, tears welling up in his beautiful crimson eyes, that you can't pull your gaze from, even if you're not a mad fan girl. Come on! I dare you to stare into his eyes, and then just TRY to pull your eyes away. Oh...right. The story... heheh, oops....**Nervous laugh**

Yami and Bakura and Marik wandered around the streets of Vancouver, wondering where to go. Every time they tried to ask directions, everyone either ran away screaming (Marik waving his dagger-rod angrily at them), or stared at them blankly before continuing on (due to the fact that they couldn't speak Japanese).

So, the three of them sat down town, Yami weighing his foam mallet and four foot long ax in each of his hands. 

Bakura was throwing bricks at passing cars, and Marik was swinging his ax borededly (spl?). 

Yami looked up at the sky, just in time to roll out of the way of a crossbow that was thrown from the top of a building. Yami poked at it suspiciously, and when it didn't attack him, he picked it up, and rested it on his shoulder, aiming at random things. 

Bakura looked up also, wondering where it had come from, and raises his hand as he saw something fall from the sky. He looked at the label of it. "Taser...(spl?)" he said. 

Marik looked up hopefully, and was hit in the head with another fortune cookie. "Dammit! I wish I knew what to do with these things!" He exclaimed. He blinked... "DAMMIT!" He screamed, his cry echoing off the walls of the buildings. 

Then a pair of key's landed in his mane of hair. He picked them out. 

"Key to 123 Box Street. Contents are for what Marik-sama to do what he wishes."

"To 123 Box Street!" Marik said dramatically, ignoring Bakura zapping Yami with the taser and Yami firing his crossbow in reply. 

Marik began to walk off, and Bakura and Yami followed quickly, Bakura pulling out the arrows from his shoulder, and Yami walking funny, his hair frizzed. 

Soon they walked in front of said building, a big warehouse. 

Marik unlocked the door, to be greeted with hundreds of people staring back at him. Marik grinned wolfishly, and began to run around stabbing people with his rod, and chopping their heads off with the axe.

Yami and Bakura sat by the door. 

_ZAP! _Bakura shocked Yami. 

_TWANG! _Yami shot an arrow at Bakura. 

_ZAP! _Bakura shocked Yami.

_TWANG! _Yami shot an arrow at Bakura. 

This continued, both their faces emotionless until they were shocked or shot, when they're eyes would widen. 

Soon, Marik was finished and the three of them roamed Vancouver once again. 

Yami started to sing flatly. "I like traffic lights. I like traffic lights. I like traffic lights. No matter where they've been."

A fortune cookie hit Bakura in the head. He looked up, to see someone disappear on top of the roof of the sky scrapper that they were under. 

  


"I like traffic lights. I like traffic lights. I like traffic lights. But only when they're green," Yami Yuugi continued. 

Bakura looked at the fortune cookie, and smiled. He knew what this meant. 

"He likes traffic lights, he likes traffic lights. He likes traffic lights. No matter where they've been."

"I wish that!" Bakura started out dramatically. 

"He likes traffic lights. He likes traffic lights. He likes traffic lights. But only when they're green."

"Yami! Shut up!" Bakura exclaimed.

Yami's lips kept moving, though no sound came out. He clutched his throat. 

Bakura looked at the cookie. "NO!! NO NO NO NO NO!!! I DIDN'T MEAN THAT!" Bakura exclaimed, screaming at the cookie. Passer-by's crossed the street and eyed them suspiciously, from the opposite side of the road. Bakura screaming at the cookie, Yami trying to speak but no sound came out, and Marik swinging his now bloodied ax at them all threateningly. 

A fortune cookie fell on Yami, and he closed his eyes, and opened it. "I can speak again!" He exclaimed, drawing more odd stares. Then he realized what he had done, once again. "Dammit!" He cursed, kicking at a pebble. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaira-chan: Well, that's done ^_^ Hurrah!

Yami Kaira: And once again, thanks to Sleeping Koneko. You have inspired Kaira-chan greatly. 

Yami: ...I was tasered? (Spl?)

Pharaoh Yami: Obviously. 

Yami; Well...please read a review!

  


~~~~~~REVIEW REPLIES~~~~~~

Sleeping Koneko: 

Thank you ^_________^ I enjoyed your presents, and the url ^-^ Thankies again! YAMI RELATED ITEMS!!! *Glomp them and fight over them with YK*

  


Yami Bakura's Wife:

No worries Bakura. More drinking to come! 

  


Mistress-of-eternal-darkness: **To review on ch. 1**

Only while their drunk my friend =P And I'll be sure to read it, if I haven't already. 

  


Mistress-of-eternal-darkness: 

Soon enough?

  


Mandi-chan:

Thank you ^-^ I'm glad you liked it!

  


Peggi: **To review to ch. 5**

Lol ^-^ Could it be that you're laughing at the computer? ^-^ Naw, I'm j/p. Thank you!

  


Misura: **To review on ch. 7**

Lol ^-^ I'm glad you thought so. Yes, OOCness that I use in this story is purely meant for odd funniness ^-^ I'm glad you think so. And yes, I thought it seemed rather logical too ^-^ 

  


Misura: 

**Lightning bolt misses by a foot** Naw ^_^ I wouldn't do that! I did mean for Yami to be rather stupid in this fic... heheh ^_^;;; Lol ^_^ All hail comic relief Yami ^___^ Lol. Yes, wittyness is good ^_____^

Yami: What does witty mean?

Kaira: O_o...I ...don't...know... Lol, j/p I do ^_^ And thank you for the links!! ^____^


	11. Chapter 8, My Humour Muses Ran Away

Kaira-chan: Sorry about the long updating period!! My humor muses all ran away from me...

  


Yami Kaira: I can see why...

  


Yami: I didn't know they were back yet?

  


Kaira-chan: They aren't ^_^ But I'm pushing myself to update!! You all better be happy!

  


Yami Kaira: Don't see why they should be

  


Pharaoh Yami: I'm sorta almost happy...

  


Yami: Bah!!!! I'm not. But Kaira-chan doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh, which is a good thing...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


Yami watched the person run away screaming. "You know, Marik, you really gotta stop doing that?"

  


"Doing what?" Marik asked, putting his four-foot-long ax back on the sheath on his back, opposite to the foam mallet. 

  


Yami sweat dropped, then rubbed his forehead. "Is anyone else getting a headache?"

  


Bakura and Marik exchanged glances. "Quickly!! We must get more alcohol!! The effects are wearing off!" and with those words, they grabbed Yami by each wrist and lead him into a bar. 

  


"I'd like a tequila," Bakura demanded. 

  


"Everclear here!" Yami exclaimed. 

  


"I'll have a Jose Cuervo," Marik ordered. 

  


The waiter looked at them funny, then went back to speaking to an English customer. 

  


Yami, Bakura and Marik glared at them both, and then clutched their heads in pain. Who would've thought that their hangovers would hurt that much?

  


Suddenly, three fortune cookies poofed into existence right in front of them. Each of them grabbed their cookie at the same time, and in unison, they all said, "I wish all three of us could speak English!"

  


And suddenly - they could!! Bakura glared at Yami. "You were suppose to wish for World Domination!" Bakura yelled at him. "_I _was wishing that we could all speak English!" The bartender, and his customers, all looked at the Yamis'. 

  


"No, _I _was wishing for English speakingness! _You _were suppose to wish for World Domination, and Marik was suppose to wish for illegal drugs!" Yami countered. 

  


"No, _I _was suppose to wish to speak English, _you _were suppose to wish for illegal drugs, and _you _were suppose to wish for World Domination!" Marik yelled at the two, not distinguishing whom "you" was. 

  


"Gentlemen!" The Bartender cut in, before they could start a brawl. _Again _with the gentlemen thing?

  


"What?" Bakura sneered.

  


"Can I get you anything to drink?"

  


"Tequila."

  


"Everclear."

  


"Jose Cuervos."

  


"I'll get those too you in just a moment, sirs," the bartender grinned nervously, eyeing their collection of weaponry that was slung randomly around their bodies. 

  


_ZAP! _

  


_ TWANG!_

  


The ancient Egyptians beginning to attack each other again did nothing to ease his fears. 

  
  


Yami chugged back his everclear, as the other spirits chugged back their drinks. 

"I'm sorry about the crossbow Bakura!!!" Yami slurred, draping his arm over the other's shoulder. 

  


"S'ok man!! I'm sorry about the taser!!" 

  


"I love you man!!" They both cried out, hugging each other. 

  


"I feel unloved," Marik whimpered. 

  


"We love you too!!!" And then the three of them hugged each other tightly. 

  


"What's next on your list, Marik?" Bakura asked, as the three of them finally broke apart. "Kill more random people..." Everyone in the bar stared at the three in pure terror. 

"We did that already," Yami sighed. "What next?"

  


"Go to an all you can eat buffet."

  


"All right!!!" Yami and Bakura pumped their fists in the air.

  


"Hey!!" The bartender called, "you didn't pay for you-" He stopped when a hand rested on his arm. 

  


"Just let 'em go, Bill. Just let 'em go."

  
  
  
  


"So, would you happen to know any where to eat?" Yami asked Bakura. 

  


"Why would I know? Marik?"

  


"What? Do I look like God to you? I mean, I am but..."

  


"Be quiet Marik!! You know nothing!"

  


"Like you know so much more, Bakura!" 

  


"Both of you!! Shut up!! Now, I'm going to go ask someone where the all you can eat buffet is..." a little girl ran past Yami. 

  


"Hey! Little Girl!" He called. She stopped and turned to him. "How would you like some candy?"

  


"AHHHH!! MOMMY!! SOME FREAK WITH WEIRD HAIR IS TRYING TO RAPE ME!!" The little girl screamed, kicking Yami in the shin, and running down the street.

  


Yami cursed loudly, and began hopping around, holding his leg. 

  


Bakura and Marik broke into mad laughter. "Nice one Yami!!" they giggled. 

  


Yami glared at them. "I'd like to see you do better!"

  


"Fine then, I will!" Marik exclaimed, then walked up to an old woman. He drew his rod/dagger, and pointed it at her throat. 

  


"Listen you old hag! Tell me where the All You Can Eat Buffet is, and I won't kill you!" He growled. 

  


The women looked frightened for a moment and then began beating him with her purse. "Get away from me you perverted, sick mugger!" She snarled, hitting him. He fell to his knees, shielding his head with his arms. 

  


When she stormed off down the street, Bakura and Yami helped him up, laughing hysterically. 

  


"What's so funny?!" he snarled at them both, baring his teeth. 

  


"You just got your ass kicked by an old lady!!" Bakura managed to explain. "And Yami just got attacked by a three year old!!" 

  


"I'd like to see you do better!" Yami and Marik screamed at him. 

  


"It's all about picking the right audience," Bakura said, and then walked up to a teenage girl who was walking down the street.

  


"Hey," he purred. She looked up at him. 

  


"What do you want?" She asked, trying to sound edgy, but a hint of swooning crept into her voice. 

  


"I was just wondering, do you know where I could find an All You Can Eat Buffet around here?" he asked, brushing a lock of hair out of her eyes. She blushed. 

  


"Why do you wanna know?" she stammered, her knees beginning to weaken. 

"So, perhaps I could take you there sometime," he winked. 

  


"There's one just down the street, and to the right," she said, feeling light headed. 

  


"Thanks," he said, his usual malicious voice coming back to him. He summoned his man-eater bug, and it promptly... didn't eat her. 

  


"What the hells wrong with you?" He screamed at the bug. The girls eyes widened dramatically. 

  


"She's not a man," the bug answered, its voice not that of a human.

  


The girl screamed, and ran down the street, and the bug disappeared.

  


She didn't get far however, when Marik stuck his foot out and tripped her. Then he stabbed her over and over and over and over and over and over again. 

  


Lucky for them, somehow, the entire street was deserted. 

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaira-chan: Sorry for the short chapter!!

  


Yami Kaira; Be glad you got a chapter at all. 

  


Kaira-chan: AHHHH!!! I forgot the gifts!! I'll fit them in next chapter, I promise!!

  


Pharaoh Yami: Wow...

  


Yami kaira: That chapter was, if at all possible, worse then your others...

  


Kaira-chan: I'm sorry if its not that funny!!!! u.u. I can't write humour without my humour muses!!

  


Yami: Please review!!

  


~~~~REVIEW REPLIES~~~~~

Mistress-of-eternal-darkness:

O_O... Bad Yami... no removing of the mattress ^___^

  


Yami Bakura's Wife:

lol ^-^ Yes Jeshi, I know Bakura's yours ^_^

  


Zarmina: **to review on ch. 9**

I'm glad you thought so ^_^

  


Carmen5:

I plan to ^_^ If my humour muses ever come back... 

  


Aniu Hanyou:

Cool ^-^ you live in Vancouver? I didn't know that ^_^ Thanks for the suggestions. I'll have to do a little random person insert, eh?? ^-~ lol. 

  
  


Althe: **To review on ch. 2**

Yay ^_^ lol. Thanks

  


Althe: **To review on ch. 3**

lol ^-^ I'm glad!! And I plan too

  


Althe: 

I'm proud ^_^ hehehe. Oohh ^-^ I could use the falcon in the next chapter ^_^ Hurrah!!!

  


Koneko-Yume:

Yep yep ^_^ your ideas are good ^_^ and I'll use those gifts in the next chapter ^___^ Yay!! Yami!! *Glompage*

  


Peggi:

Lol ^_^ I'm glad you thought so. Sorry its not exactly a soon update...

  
  


Misura:

No you shouldn't... but neither should I, or a lot of other people, so *Shrugs* Yeah! Monty Python is my.. I shouldn't say God but... I love him **Glompage** lol ^-^

  
  


Yami-AJ Yu-Yu-InuCaptor: **To review on ch. 3**

Lol, yes, it _is _all Yugi's fault =P Yeah ^_^ she's one of my bestest best friends ^_^ lol

  


Yami-AJ Yu-Yu-InuCaptor: **To review on ch. 4**

lol ^-^;; im glad you thought so.. But... are you okay??

  


The Ghost of Jonouchi:

Lol, s'ok ^_^

  


goth with a glave:

I'm glad you liked it ^_^ And you shall find out about Yugi... NEXT chapter!!

  


Vashes Daughter Zion:

Lol, yep ^-^ I updated. And you shall find out about the hikari's, NEXT chapter!!

  


Maruken:

Yep ^_^ thats the point!!

  


MysticDreamweaver673:

lol, yesh, poor yami ^_^;;;


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